I'll never forget the evening that I stared out the back window of our 96' Chevrolet Van watching our house shrink until it eventually faded into the shadows of dusk as we drove away from life as I knew it. My childhood dreams of attending Garfield High School and the University of Washington were beginning to fade. It was May 18, 1999, I was 15, and we were moving to Miami from Seattle - no turning back now. The announcement had been made some months earlier which passed at light-speed, but I never imagined in a million years that this day would actually come - yet there I was eastbound on I-90 whether I liked it or not. It feels terrible when your lifestyle is being altered by an outside force and you don't have any control or say in the matter - but that's the nature of childhood I guess. Anyway, I was torn between the excitement that a new world would bring for me, and the new challenges that I would strive to overcome. But, I was deeply saddened by the fact that I may never see some of my friends again. I wondered when I'd get the opportunity to return for a visit, and started planning all of the things I was going to do when I did. Regardless of the expectations I had for the future, grief fell over me. I was leaving the place where my heart was rooted, this was my home and I knew that I wouldn't feel settled until I made my way back.
3,333 miles: that's how far we drove from Seattle to Miami, these were the longest 2 days of my life! I've always loved road trips and this one was the longest ever. Dad bestoed upon me the title of 'Navigator,' my job was to study the map and direct the drivers - we had 4 so they could alternate: Mom, Dad, my brother Lamont, and Orlando (some chef we knew from church). I enjoyed navigating so much that I nearly stayed awake the entire 2 days, besides, I didn't want to miss anything out the window. Driving through the midwest has a way of cleansing the soul - I felt like I was one with the road. There was nothing to see for hours but row upon row of corn field and every station on the radio played a country music - it was like a form of meditation. I found stillness on the road and it was just what I needed to prepare for the new life that awaited me in Florida.
It had been hours since our last stop, but there I was in Fort Pierce at a rest stop about to step foot onto Floridian soil for the first time. As soon as our well air-conditioned van stopped, I hopped outside and much to my surprise nearly choked as I gasped for air wondering why I felt like I was in giant sauna! In Seattle, humidity was non-existent. "Is this what Florida would be like all of the time?" I thought. I got back into the car complaining about how there was no fresh air and how we just couldn't stay here because it wasn't safe - my parents entertained my whining until we all grew tired my mouth. A few hours later, we'd finally arrived in Miami at our temporary home, the luxurious Palm Aires Golf Resort in Pompano and the beachfront Lighthouse Cove. For the next three weeks, we lived like royalty and complaints were the last thing on my mind. I spent my days with my sister Krystal, swimming in the pool or at the beach, and exploring the local neighborhood. Evenings were quiet and relaxing as I sat in my jacuzzi/garden bathtub! A few weeks later, when our home was ready, we moved out to Town & Country area and it was official - vacation was over!
I gradually overcame the culture shock over the next four years as I attended high school and made new friends. The nostalgia from thoughts of Seattle seemed to fade away, and I fell in love with Miami. At the age of 19, I met Xavier on my search for other musicians to collaborate with. After being together for nearly 8 years, I realize that he is one of the treasures that I was brought to Miami to discover. We were married on January 26, 2010 and still marvel at the way we met and all of the forces that have come into play just so that we would cross paths - the universe is a mysterious and beautiful place!
At the age of 23, I was growing restless with Miami. I had outgrown the 21-year-old party lifestyle already and was looking for more and more out of life. As a child, I was well traveled and exposed to many cultures from around the world so it was difficult for me to remain in a small place like Miami because I had literally run out of things to do. So in January of 2006, I decided to move to Dallas, TX, where Krystal lived. After a month, I was certain that it wasn't the place for me so I boarded the first plane back to Miami and started all over again. Everything was calm on the exterior, but deep down, I felt unsettled in my soul. Later that year, I accepted a position with a charter airline as a flight attendant. It was great and gave me an opportunity to see a lot of different places - everywhere I went I found myself asking, "could I see myself living here?" Miami just didn't feel like home, but neither did any other place I visited. The following year (2007), I decided that I was finally leaving Miami and moved to Atlanta, GA to work at AirTran as a flight attendant. I loved Atlanta: the 4 seasons, the culture, the food, the people, Stone Mountain, etc. I would have remained in Atlanta if it weren't for the oil crisis of 2008 that caused me to lose my job and everything else I had, except my car which carried me straight back to Miami. I felt like a prisoner - why couldn't I seem to get away from this place? It was not my home, and by then I had long forgotten about Seattle. Although I had a place to live, I felt like a wanderer without a home. Finally, in the Fall of 2009, I decided to go back to school, full time because I was sick and tired of not being in control of my own life like I was dangling from an invisible string...
In October of 2010, I received an anonymous email about a presentation on campus at FIU for graduate students only by Bastyr University for Naturopathic Medicine Program. It sounded interesting, but I was a pre-nursing, undergraduate student and felt that it didn't apply to me. Just as I was about to delete the email, I got a strange inclination to keep it. So I logged off the computer and didn't return to the email for several weeks. By then, I'd already forgotten about the email and was going through my inbox to clear out trash when I came across the email again. This time, I decided that I would attend whether I was invited or not. The day of the presentation, I was blown away by what the school had to offer, and the representative happened to have one undergraduate brochure in her briefcase so she handed it to me and I was sold! I knew that this was my calling and the school actually happened to be in Seattle. At that point in my life, to attend Bastyr in such a short time frame, I would need nothing short of a miracle. I didn't have the money for the move or the tuition, but what I did have was the will, the prerequisites (which happened to be the same as those I'd just completed for FIU's nursing school), the grades, and tremendous belief that I would achieve everything I set out to. I told the universe that I was not going to force anything else, and that if this was my calling to make it crystal-clear. After that day, everything began to fall in line as if I was being escorted by destiny itself to attend Bastyr. I received scholarships and grants, which made the tuition equal to what I was already paying to attend FIU, our move was flawless and inexpensive, Xavier started noticing changes in his life too that prepared him for something big that was about to happen. We are still in awe of how marvelously everything has worked out after watching the impossible become possible. Just as stated in The Alchemist, "When you want something, all of the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." I know this to be true from our housing, to our tickets, to shipping our things, to the miracles we've encountered just since we've been here - In Seattle that is!
We now live in Greenwood, a beautiful neighborhood just north of Seattle and everything is going smoothly. School starts on the 26th of this month and I can hardly wait - this is a dream come true! Xavier is loving it, he's super excited about the thriving music scene here and we've already written 4 songs in the past 2 weeks which we hope to perform soon at a local venue. I didn't understand why I needed to be in Miami back then, but now I know that if I weren't in that place, at that time, I may not have found my passion in life. I've learned that one should not interfere with one's destiny, it just complicates things and elongates the road we must take to reach our treasure.
Yesterday, we went to a Labor Day BBQ where I reconnected with my family that I haven't seen in nearly a decade - I've missed them so much. We chatted, laughed, ate, made smores on the bonfire and for the first time in 11 years, I felt settled in my soul.
I can rest now, I am home.
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